Greatest Shits: Back to the Shart od Infernal Legions of Mordor 2019

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Tracklist

# Title Length
Cassette 1
1 The Electricity in the Air Before a Good Siege -
2 Larping at the Blind Guardian Concert -
3 Orc Blade Plunged Deep Into Elvin Flesh -
4 Gollum Was a Crack Baby -
5 The Witch That Lives in the Trees -
6 The Water Temple Can Suck My Ass -
7 Crowdfunding to Buy Myself Chainmail -
8 Drawn and Quartered Varg Finally Dies -
9 Going for a Hike and Finding a Black Metal Promo Shoot -
10 Cursed Dagger of Lee-Hon-Tuc -
11 My Blade, My Honor, My Suffrage -
12 Thine Torch Igniting the Ceremonial Fireworks -
13 M'Lord Is Medieval for Daddy -
14 I Got Roasted by a Guy Wearing a Fedora at a Ren Fair -
15 Masturbating to the Elves in Skyrim -
16 Smallsword//Smallerdick -
17 Lack of Basic Hygiene Doesn't Make You a Viking -
18 Stabbing the Winner of Varg's Tabletop R.P.G. -
19 Calling Your Mother's Basement Your Dungeon -
20 Sexual Fantasy Involving an Orc and a Dwarf -
21 Frolicking Naked in the Trees Because You're a Wizard -
22 Frolicking Naked in the Trees Because You're a Wizard -
23 Ishan Before He Thought He Was in Dream Theater -
24 Mayhem: A Career Made on Two Corpses -
25 Bigsword//Mircoscopicpenis -
26 That Feel When Good Siege -
27 I Liked Harry Potter Better When He Was in Troll -
28 Using Black Magic to Get Myself a Date -
29 Leading the Charge -
30 Into the Mines of Moria -
31 I Live in a Hut in the Woods With Ildjarn -
32 I Can't Wait for the Lords of Noisecore to Put a Hit Out on Me -
33 Using Flash During a Black Metal Show to Ruin the Ambiance -
34 Wolves in the Throne Room Are a Bunch of Fucking Nerds -
35 I'm From Texas, I Don't Know What Winter Is -
36 You Smell Like an Mmo Player -
37 It's Not Caps Lock, It's Kvlt Lock, Dipshit!!! -
38 I Was Born in the Wrong Time, I Want to Lead a Crusade -
39 Leading a Medieval Campain to 711 for Mountain Dew -
40 Beating Up Nerds Outside of a Kamelot Concert -
41 Dungeon Synth, Trve Incel Music -
42 Graveland's Instagram Sharing Star Wars Memes -
43 Rob Darken Looks Like My Grandma -
44 Getting Lyrical Themes From Runescape -
45 Ildjarn Is a School Teacher -
46 Mortiis Looks Like a Digimon -
47 Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan -
48 The Trees Tell Me Many Things, Like Where to Score Pcp -
49 This Rock in the Forest Looks Like a Member of a Boston Punk Band -
50 Chainmail Protects Me From Blades, but Not Your Insults -
51 Bringing a Sword to a Punk Show to Scare Poseurs -
52 Dear Knight I Commend Thine Skullet -
53 Eating From Yee Olde Pizza Carte -
54 Forgotten Forest Path Leading to a Meth Lab -
55 Spell Book Containing a Couple of Spells -
56 Satan Is M'Lord -
57 Hanging Out With My Fellow Incels at the Iced Earth Concert -
58 Christopher Lee's Power Metal Band -
59 Drunkenly Slogging Around Demanding People Drink Your Potion -
60 My Dear, Sweet, Combat Alchemist -
61 The Power of the Full Moon Charging My Boner -
62 My Huge, Heathen, Maypole -
63 I Am a Wizard and My Magic Is Meth -
64 I Work at Medieval Times to Get Drunk on Mead -
65 Peasants Who Think Burzum Is Good -
66 Nobles That Know Ildjarn Is Truth -
67 Going From Punk to Pissing Cave Dweller -
68 True Crime Songs Are Fucking Stupid -
69 Faust From Emperor Is Free to Kill Again -
70 That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared or Respected That Escalator -
71 Intro (Into the Pantheon of Friendship) -
72 My Friend Nick Is the Textbook Definition Gentile Giant and Is a Very Good Boy -
73 Joseph Is a Very Patient Person Who Writes Very Good Music -
74 My Friend Ryan, Beat Me for an Art Scholarship, Because He’s a Better Artist Than Me -
75 My Friend Libby, the Motorcycle Mom to All the Young Punks -
76 Danny From Austin Who Told Me I’m His P. White to His Billy Quizboy -
77 Danni Who Does Really Good Tattoos, Like the Mace on My Arm -
78 My Friend Life, Who Likes War Metal and Is Going to Beauty School -
79 My Friend Blake Who Once Demanded I Stop in a Town Called Cumming -
80 My Friend Wad Who Once Helped Me Make Knifechucks -
81 Texas Mike, Who Doesn’t Live in Texas, but Loudly Tells Me He Loves Me -
82 I Have a Friend Named Liam Who Makes Black Metal and People Call Him Piss -
83 My Friend Erica Who Makes Really Cool Art and Screams a Lot -
84 My Friend Alican Who Is the Smartest Idiot I Know -
85 My Friend Emma, Who Is Going to Make a Pornogrind Band About Killing Incels -
86 My Friend Lauren, a Smolbean Who Shreds the Bass -
87 My Friend Hodge, Who Plays Drums Very Good and Very Calmly -
88 Reese, or Ross, Who Plays Scape and Fronts a Death Metal Band -
89 My Friend Donovan Is a Gear Encyclopedia and a Very Good Boy -
90 My Friend Kimberly, Noisecore Queen -
91 Dunny, the Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Man Who Is Very Handsome -
92 My Friend Joose Who Is Really Funny -
93 Slade, a Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence -
94 Todd, Another, Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence -
95 Allin Who Left America to Study Something They Really Enjoy Writes Really Cool Music -
96 My Friend Derik Is a Hobbit and a Good Boy -
97 My Friend Larry, a Part Time Weeb, Full Time Small Business Owner -
98 My Friend Gus Who Is Way Tougher Than I Will Ever Be -
99 My Friend Hannah Costillo Who Takes Pictures Really Good -
100 My Friends Ian, Olivia, Jordan and Gabe Are All Very Nice and Have a Great Band Named Warm Bodies -
101 My Friend Billy Who Is My Twin and Has a Really Good Band Named Bib -
102 Rocha, Who Makes Scary Music but Has a Heart of Gold -
103 Uncle Rob, Who Is an Absolute Treasure -
104 I Have a Friend Named Taylor Vinson Who Is Really Funny, but Ate at a Texas in n Out -
105 My Friend Caroline Is the Reason I’m in This Stupid Shit and Alive -
106 Jake Garlick, He Plays Nasty Guitar Really Good and He Can Skate -
107 Simon Who Watches Very Well Made Movies and Plays Drums Very Well -
108 My Friend Erica Salazar Who I Miss but I’m Hoping Is Doing Well in Seattle -
109 My Friend Savannah Has a Cool Job Working for People Who Book Cool Shows -
110 My Friend Jackson “burnout” Boyd and I Once Went on a Goregrind Date -
111 Andy, Sometimes Billy, Is a Hurricane and a Good Boy -
112 My Friend Parker Puts Themselves Down a Lot Despite How Talented They Are -
113 My Friend Carroll, the Lone Cowpunk and a Good Fishing Guide -
114 My Friend Sam Claims She’s Very Jarring but Is a Very Nice Person -
115 Outro (The Gates of Friendship) -
116 Thieves of Sunshine (Lethal Enforcers of the Night) -
117 Suicide Involving a Noose Made of Piano Wire, Gorilla Gluing My Hands to Head and Yelling How Fucking Mad I Am -
118 Fucking Weeb Scum Who Blast Nsbm Nightcore Covers While Spanking It to Hentai -
119 How Do You Like My Carcass Rip-Off Art for My Gorenoise EP? -
120 Andre Chicatilo Was a Sick Fuck Who Ate His Victim’s Genitals -
121 Alferd Packer Is Having a Schpadoinkle Day in Hell for Eating 5 of His Companions in the Mountains -
122 I Sure Do Love Roadside Barbeque in Texas, Especially When Its Made Out of People -
123 Trying to Make Zombie Sex Slaves by Drilling Into Their Brains -
124 Cannibal Corpse Subliminally Convinced Me to Eat My Friend’s Brain, It Wasn’t as Good as They Said It Would -
125 William, I Have but One Setting and It Is Go -
126 I’m Going to Dig Up John Lennon’s Abuser Corpse and Show It the Abuse It Deserves -
127 Bring John Lennon Back to Life So I Can Kill Him Again -
128 What Rich People Google: How Many Pounds of Truffle Can I Fit Into My Ass -
129 Yesterday When I Was in the Shower, I Cupped My Hands, and Peed Into Them. I Sat There Holding 8 Ounces of My Own Pee -
130 I Looked at It, Felt Its Warmth, and Then Unclasped My Hands as I Watch the Golden Liquid Flow Down the Drain -
131 I Thought What If... What If I Would Have Drank That Pee? -
132 Gold Is the Colour of Gold but Also "Pee Pee" -
133 Six Dudes Hanging Around a Car With the Hood Up... Ain’t Nothin’ Better -
134 Ah... A Nice Glass of Piss -
135 Aw, Pikachu Shat on the Carpet Again! -
136 Can't Wait for the Future and Mail Order Lsd -
137 Need to Make Some Quick $$$... If You Are Interested in Purchasing an Old Wall in China Hmu -
138 Youtube Channel That Only Uploads Off-Brand Battery Reviews -
139 Sorry Tim Heidecker but It's Time for the Real King of Comedy to Take Back the Throne... Jeff Foxworthy!!!! -
140 Tim Heidecker Vs Me, Trapped in a Restaurants Kitchen While a Grease Fire Burns Out of Control -
141 Tim Heidecker: Your Days Are Numbered, My Man! -
142 3 Hour Ted Talk Hosted by Yours Truly Where I Just Make Mouth Noises -
143 Drawing Dicks in the Ups Signature Field -
144 I Think Jethro Tull Would Be Interesting Opponents in a Fight -
145 Petition: Replace the Faces of Those Guys on Mt Rushmore With the Freebird Lyrics -
146 I Smoked the Government Weed and I Can’t Sleep, I Can’t Stop Thinking About Mars! -
147 100 Likes and I Will Get a Crucified Skinhead Tattoo -
148 A Video Game Where You Play as Steve Buscemi -
149 Taco Bell Sponsorship -
150 Larry David Sex Tape -
151 Crucified Skinhead but It's Gumby -
152 Mark Zuckerberg Has a Controlling Share in Youth Attack Records -
153 Who Up I Got a Box of Dr Pepper -
154 Had a Dream I Met an Nfl Player and I Begged Him to Kill Me -
155 I Miss Texas and I Miss Sweet Tea -
156 Adam Sandler but With a British Accent -
157 Spiderman’s Balls -
158 Cowboy God Has Made a Decision... Pineapple Must Remain on Pizza -
159 Take It Easy by the Eagles -
160 Repent You Sinners and Become Cowboy -
161 God Is Returning in Half of an Hour... Cowboy God -
162 I'd Like to Have a Cage Match With Alton Brown -
163 Double Click Here to See Magic -
164 Just Walked Up to Cale Weir in Public, He Was High and Listening to Tiger Army -
165 Ask Me About Burst Pipes -
166 Mass Sterilization Caused by Poopoo and Peepee -
167 My Idea of Heaven Would Be Listening to Country and Western Music With My Gpa Forevr -
168 Subway Sandwiches Buffet -
169 A Pizza Place Run by Skinheads -
170 I’m Gonna Kick Your Ass (I’m Lifting Weights as I Post This) -
171 Martial Artists Breaking Planks but the Planks Are Replaced With Casio Keyboards -
172 A Cap With a Hole for People to Show Off Their Bald Spots -
173 All Bald People Are Skinheads -
174 I Wonder What Pisspiggranddad Is Doing Right Now -
175 A Vegetable Called Jetpack -
176 Has Anyone Made Pillows That Look Like Butts Yet -
177 Two Nude Musclebound Men Chasing Each Other Around a Junkyard Shooting Each Other With Dollar Store Water Guns -
178 I Need to Clone Myself Five Times So I Can Fulfil My Dream of Owning and Operating a Chain of 6 24/7 Gas Stations -
179 Pumping Iron to the Sopranos Theme Song -
180 I Am Hungover and I Am Fucking Manic -
181 Last Night I Got Banned From Metro (The Supermarket) For Opening and Eating Three Cans of Cold Staggs Chili in the Store -
182 If I Shit My Pants Would My Boss Let Me Go Home Early -
183 Last Night God Came to Me in the Form of Liam and He Said “wanan Maybe Hanmg Out” -
184 Tom Cruise Is the Shadow President and a Member of the Deep State -
185 Welcome to My Shop Where I Sell Fresh Sweet Corn and New Video Game Releases -
186 “cro Mags Full Album” Tatted Across My Stomach a La “thug Life” -
187 Nike Sneakers in Camo Making Me Really Horny -
188 Woke Up With the Fresh Smell of a Hoagie Near by and a Morning Has Never Been So Complete for Me -
189 I Just Wanna Noodle Catfish and Shit in an Outhouse -
190 Gonna Open Up an Eyebrow Place Called “the Big Lebrowski” -
191 Who Else Is Soaked and Sitting in a Leather Chair at Work -
192 9/11 Truther in the Streets, Infowarrior in the Sheets -
193 Bust Three Nuts Today: Two for the Towers, One for the Pentagon -
194 This Divine Blade Gifted to Me From the Goddess, Liliana, Will Protect My Virginity at All Costs -
195 That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared or Respected That Escalator -
196 The Harsh Stench of Mountain Dew on the Incel’s Breath -
197 I Can't Wait for Jerkbooth to Make Fun of Me Again -
198 Billy From Omaha Is a Very Good Boy -
199 Waylen Jennings Is Better Than Any of Your Dumb Ass N.Y.H.C. Clone Bands -
200 I Had to Find a Virgin to Sacrifice, So at the Stroke of Midnight I Raided the Local Gamestop -
201 I Don’t Know If This Morning’s Taco Bell Diarrhea Sounded More Like Carcass or Impetigo Vocals -
202 Spay or Neuter Your Retro-Thrasher Today -
203 Dream Theater Concert, aka Incel Pride 2018 -
204 Twister Is the Best Movie Ever Written, If You Disagree You’re Fucking Stupid -
205 Brogaze Played by the Chillest of Brogazers -
206 That Time I Convinced Some Bros That A.C.A.B. Means a Chill Ass Bro -
207 Claiming Your Identity Is Asexual When You’re Just an Incel -
208 Remember When You Said Punk Would Be Great Again Under Trump? You Lied to Me. -
209 The Deep and Eldritch Sorcery That Will Befall You If You Dare Call Me Fag Again -
210 Only the Trvest of Satanists Set Up Their Dungeons in Their Mom’s Garage -
211 I’m Just an Ugly Homo (Who Plays in a Noisecore Band) -
212 Glen Benton Pussied Out of Killing Himself -
213 I’d Rather Listen to Dream Theater Than Another Band That Sounds Like Fucking Gag -
214 Using Arcane Necromancy to Revive Cliff Burton to Finally Solve the Lars Problem -
215 The Hardest Part of Being a Dungeon Synth Fan Was Telling My Parents That I’m a Gay Goblin -
216 Antichrist Kramer Is Going to Fight Neckbeard Deathcamp -
217 I Showed You My Youth Attack Collection, Please Respond -
218 My Friend Bald Larry Plays D & D, Listens to Power Metal and Still Goes on More Dates Than Me -
219 My First Band, Fxcxpx, Was an Abomination Before God and a Failure -
220 The Beautiful, Cold Winter Night That Froze My Balls Off and Made Me a Eunuch -
221 Magic the Gathering of the Juggalos -
222 Satan Is M’Lord Ii: Daddy Krampus -
223 I Liked Dave Mustaine Better When He Was on Heroin -
224 I Will Die Upon the True Altars of Madness, Cici’s Pizza, as My Body Dissolves From the Grease -
225 Chanting “make Him Cum” During the Witching Hour Only Summoned a Cop to Issue Us a Noise Complaint -
226 Long Sleeved, Four Sided Dream Theater Awake Shirt to Attract All the Prog Babes -
227 Razorbumps Is Playing Cochella; Thats the Joke -
228 I'm Glad Denton Free Jazz Musicicans Fucking Hate Me Now -
229 If I Wanted to Watch Some Dude Jerk It for 20 Minutes I'd Use Chatroulette Instead of Going to the Skronk Show -
230 I'm Glad Jesus Chris & The Beatles Broke Up -
231 Cleric Got Sponsored by Hair Care Products -
232 Oh God Fucking Dammit Not Another Band With Parker Lawson in It -
233 Flat Earth Guy Is the True Hero of North Texas -
234 Creeping Death Will Never Be a Real Death Metal Band Until They Cover Good Sepultura -
235 Burning an Anal Cunt Tape Upon the Altar of Homosexuality as an Offering to the Lords of Noisecore -
236 Infernal Legions of Mordor Is Cancelled!!! -
237 [untitled] -

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